My Old Friend Vance

With Barnum and Bailey bringing their 3 ring circus to my town this week, I found myself readying to join the many families who love the "greatest show on earth". I decided to go over early, and watch them setting up. As I walked around, enjoying the many sights and sounds, I ran into Vance, an old friend, one of the many performers who has been working with for Ringling Brothers since 1984. I met him about 18 years ago when I first visited with my children. While he seemed to have put on a few pounds, he looked majestic in his circus garb.

I was so happy to see him, but after visiting with him for a bit, was saddened to see he still had the same issues he's been carrying around for these past two decades. Like so many of us, Vance had been conditioned since a young age to respond a certain way and was unable to pull away from those issues that kept him stuck. Since discovering my path to becoming my own wingman, I’m thrilled how quickly I can now spot someone who is still tied to some past limiting belief. We’ve all been there though, and of course it’s easier to see when it’s not ourselves who are stuck, when it’s not us who have given up trying.
Henry Ford’s words, "Whether you believe you can, or you can't, you are right" rung so clear to me yet again as I hung around Vance.

Gavin de Becker explains the dynamics of learned helplessness in his book, "The Gift of Fear, Survival Signals that Protect Us from Violence,"

"You'll never amount to anything"; "You can't sing"; You're not smart enough"; You're a loser"; "You should have more realistic goals"; "You're the reason our marriage broke up"; You're worthless". These criticisms are heard in so many homes around the world, and of course more damaging are the words we say to ourselves. “I’m so stupid”; “I’m such a failure”; “I can’t do it”. These statements are like stakes driven into the ground, with heavy chains attached, and we all reach the point where we believe we can not pull free. And at that point, we can’t”, for when we believe we can't, we can't.

"Unless and until something changes their view, unless they grasp the striking fact that they are tied with a thread, that the chain is an illusion, that they were fooled, and ultimately, that whoever so fooled them was wrong about them and that they were wrong about themselves-- unless all this happens, these children are not likely to show society their positive attributes as adults."

Seeing Vance, I would have liked to show him that the “chain” that was holding him back was nothing more than a thin rope and he could break it with one strong step forward.

By this point it was clear to me I would not be able to help him, but hopefully this message can help you break free of those deceptive shackles that are keeping you stuck.

You see Vance is an elephant, and his behavior, which is known as “conditioned response”, works like this…
"The way circus elephants are trained demonstrates this dynamic well: When young, they are attached by heavy chains to large stakes driven deep into the ground. They pull and yank and strain and struggle, but the chain is too strong, the stake too rooted. One day they give up, having learned that they cannot pull free, and from that day forward they can be "chained" with a slender rope. When this enormous animal feels any resistance, even though it has the strength to pull the whole circus tent over, it stops trying.”

So I ask you, have you been “conditioned” to respond a certain way? Are you holding onto harmful memories? Is the “chain” that is holding you back from your goals really just a slender rope?

Today’s wingman practice…
1. Question any and all beliefs that may be holding you back.
2. Give it just one more try and see if it really is an unbreakable restraint.
3. If it doesn’t work, try once more.
4. Look to see if there are any “baby steps” you can take. Think Tim Robbins as Andy Dufresne in “Shawshank Redemption” and how it took him almost 20 years to free himself from his prison.
5. Start taking those baby steps.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

A Groundhog Day Recipe

Yesterday was Groundhog Day so it was no surprise when I sat down and turned on the television, the movie Groundhog Day was just beginning. This beloved comedy stars Bill Murray as Phil Connors, a self centered, obnoxious TV weatherman who, much to his distress, must go to Punxsutawney, Pa. for the annual ritual of the groundhog coming out and "predicting" the weather.

Due to cosmic forces and good Hollywood writing, Phil ends up in his own personal hell, reliving this day over and over and over again for an undetermined amount of time. This got me thinking about how we, as humans, get stuck in our own endless loop, and how we allow our own thoughts and beliefs, to keep us there.

Much like in the movie, when we do nothing different in our own lives, the days and events of our existence don't ever seem to change. Phil Connors goes from bewilderment to despair to boredom to hopelessness, much as we do, each in our own way, resigned to the repetitiveness of our own reality.

The experiences that unfold each and every minute of Phil’s same day, reflect our own journey and feelings of being trapped by the sameness of our condition.

He begins to realize he can change his day by changing his attitude, his behavior and his habits. Instead of allowing his situation to continue to dictate how he feels, he takes control of his circumstances, and begins to embrace the opportunities this time loop has given him.

He finally begins to live each day, and not only becomes a talented piano player and ice sculptor, but also, a fantastic wingman to the various townspeople who need him, be it catching a boy falling from a tree, fixing a tire for older women in need, or saving a choking man by doing the Heimlich maneuver.

Again, as I watched this story unfold, I was mesmerized by how this movie so perfectly reflected what so many of us allow to become our lives.

As Paulo Coelho once said,
                 “We can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one”

By repeating our past habits, our days become so similar; it’s as if we are living each day over and over again, much like Phil Connors.

As we watch him giving his television forecast for the umpteenth time, we finally see his evolvement.

"When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter."

Surely, these are not the words of a man who sees his life as one long monotonous cycle.

So here, in this little romantic comedy about one day in the life of a bored and bitter man, we are given a recipe for a full and meaningful life.

For Phil Connors, it was helping others, connecting with community, studying new skills and learning more about himself. Much like Phil, our journey is to find our own recipe for delivering us from where we stand today, into our own rich and meaningful tomorrows.

You don’t need to become a jazz pianist or ice sculptor overnight. But, by changing one habit, one encounter or one experience, maybe your groundhog won’t see his shadow this year, and your spring will come a bit earlier.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

“Imagine” by John Lennon

So yesterday, I left a morning meeting in Philadelphia and drove to a presentation in King of Prussia, Pa. If you know the area, you know I drove on the Schuylkill expressway to get there. You also know the odds of there being a great deal of traffic are pretty good.
Lucky for me I left plenty of time as I ended up in a traffic gridlock.

After sitting for some time, I could feel my energy going to that dark place. I shifted my car into park (yes, it was that type of congestion) and decided to change the radio station from sports talk to music, and just as I did, the song “Imagine”, by John Lennon started to play.

Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today

With my car in park and not going anywhere quickly, the music enveloped me and I allowed my imagination to take over. That’s the great thing about practicing my wingman philosophy, messy situations like traffic jams no longer throw me into a destructive place. By doing my one minute practices I am able to stay in control of my feelings, which usually enables me to be more productive, more efficient, and certainly, more calm.

As the music played, I began to have fun with the words.

Imagine there’s no traffic
It’s easy if you try
No cars around me
Open highway all the way
Imagine always being early for every meeting you attend

Imagine there’s no worries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to stress you out for
And no deadlines too
Imagine all your pressures, dissolving in thin air

You may say I’m a Wingman
but I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

As I sung these words in my car, I began smiling. My energy immediately shifted and I could actually feel my vibration rising. As the song finished on the radio, and my words still hung in the air, I recognized the traffic had begun to loosen up.

Yes, it really happened that easily. Perhaps it’s because of all the positive momentum I’ve now built up over the last few years, but it now seems when I’m able to change my thoughts, I am able to change my world.

The ability to quickly change a poor situation into a more favorable one does not happen overnight. Nor does a positive attitude, but if you begin consciously practicing tonight, I assure you, tomorrow will look a little bit better. As a client of mine said to me yesterday afternoon, “staying upbeat requires work”. Yes it does.

The good news is I shortened the time required to just one minute a day.

As a Law of Attraction Life and Business Coach I often give my clients one minute of homework. Perhaps you would like to try it, so today, take one minute and let your imagination take over. Imagine you in better health, thinner, wealthier, in a more loving relationship, more confident, clearer, and/or calmer. For just one minute imagine your world as you would like it to be. As you do, you’ll allow your vibration to begin improving, and one thing I’m certain of, when your vibration improves, your relationship with everything around you, health, money, people will improve as well.

Give it a try for the next three days, maybe you’ll surprise yourself with the positive momentum you will gain.

Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Is Your Check Engine Light on?

So lately I’ve been discovering how my outer circumstances are a direct reflection of my inner being. How if some misery is taking place, such as I’m not happy with my financial situation or I find myself fighting with loved ones, then most likely there’s something off kilter going on inside me.
And lately, I’ve learned a fantastic lesson.

If I can see the problems going on inside of me, I can change them from the inside out. Change the unbalanced feeling inside of me and my outer reality changes as well.  Sort of like when Wayne Dyer says, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.

That’s when I saw the above sign and realized that maybe what we as humans need is a “Check Engine Light” to let us know when something is amiss inside us. Perhaps then we could change it before our bank account, our relationships or our health takes a turn for the worse.

The real lesson though, is that as humans we believe it is easier to fix our “situation” by focusing on our outer circumstance. I’m finding it easier and more efficient to focus on how I’m feeling emotionally, for when I’m able to calm myself, or improve my vibe even slightly, my physical situation changes as well. The good news is there are many practices to help us do this, and by definition of the Law of Attraction, when we can raise our vibration even by the slimmest of margins, the things around us change as well.

I had a perfect example of this last week. My son and I have been “banging heads” for a while now, and I haven’t felt particular good about it. He was being forced by his mother to go to a self help/bible study class given by a teacher she really enjoys and I was drafted to drive him. An hour drive each way, lunch, plus the class, gave us plenty of time together which usually ends with us fighting. I realized I’d been very focused on how much we constantly fight, and how he “needs to change his attitude”. I’d also been very aware of not feeling particularly happy around him lately. I felt frustrated. I felt guilty. I felt blame. I felt disappointment.

I decided to try a practice I read about from Abraham-Hicks called “Which Thought Feels Better” in the hopes that by raising my vibration I could begin enjoying our relationship much better. The first step was to identify how I’d been experiencing him.

He never helps me.
He’s very stubborn and even though his way doesn’t seem to make sense, he doesn’t listen.
He doesn’t seem to care about me at all.

I then began the process by reaching for thoughts about him that felt better. As I wrote my thoughts down, I also wrote if the thought felt better, worse or the same as the vibration I was currently feeling.

I began…
I wish I had taught him better. (worse)
He has so much potential. (better)
He’s not working to his potential. (worse)
He’s very irresponsible. (same)
He’s a pain in the neck. (same)
I remember when he was such a sweet, nice boy. (better)
I know he has a lot on his mind. (better)
I remember the difficulties of being his age. (better)
I don’t have to “fix it” today. (better)
Things have been getting better between us. (better)
I want to have a better relationship with him. (better)
I know he wants us to have a better relationship. (better)
I know I am able to change my attitude and by doing so I can make things better. (better)

As I consciously worked on raising my vibration around our relationship I noticed a slight bit of relief. My next step was to set my intention to spend some quality time with my son, enjoying his company. This practice helped change my internal temperature, allowing me to reduce my resistance and begin the steps toward approaching him differently. I’m happy to report we had the best day we’ve had in a while, filled with heartfelt conversation, laughter and hope.

If your “Check Engine Light” is on, I urge you to try this practice and hope it works as well for you as it did for me.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation, 
Michael

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude.” William James

I mentioned this quote on my radio show on Wednesday night, www.talknangels.com and many people responded to it. I decided to do some further research and found William James http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_james to be quite a brilliant man. It was then that I decided to turn this quote into one of my one minute practices.

Do I understand it correctly?  Is Professor James saying all I have to do to alter my life, my situation in life, is to simply alter my attitude.
I can practice that.

Do you understand what that means? You don’t have to do anything major or anything drastic. All you have to do, is alter your attitude. Smile. Laugh. Or maybe you need to cry and get it out. Either way, it’s a great time to start being a better you. To start doing more of what you want to do, to start enjoying the best life you can imagine.
And you can start it so easily.

Just by changing your attitude.

My wife points out however that when we’re really deep into a feeling, she doesn’t believe it is that easy to “just” change one’s attitude.
She even had the audacity to point out that when I was in a “mood” the other night I wasn’t so quick to just change it because I, like so many of us, get invested in our feelings.

So what are we mere mortals to do?
Practice baby, practice. But how do we do that?

As I walked this morning I was stressing about something so I thought it would be a good time to practice getting my “William James” on. I did it by repeating the quote over and over in my mind to begin the process of turning a theory into a belief.

I practiced saying and thinking about the quote.
Instantly, yes, really instantly, not only did my mind change and I started feeling better, but I also started seeing positives, and was soon laughing and coming up with some wonderfully creative ideas and strategies for the coming year.

Perhaps for some of you another idea would be to approach it like a science experiment. Pick a time of day or an event that occurs daily; your morning commute, standing in line at the coffee shop, your boss droning on and on at the morning meeting, your kid not emptying the dishwasher again.

Make the decision ahead of time that you will enter into that scenario with this practice in mind. So as this ongoing event happens once again, what is changing is not the event, but realizing it’s your choice to shift your thoughts and feelings towards it. This will take practice.

I find comfort and joy in the quote. Just knowing that anytime I choose, I can change my life by changing my attitude, brings an easy smile to my face.

So give it a try for yourself. Think about what this quote means.

It doesn’t mean to rush out and try to alter your life, it’s too big a job. Start easy by practicing altering your attitude, either when you’re struggling with a situation or when you’re in a great mood and want to stay there. If someone as brilliant as William James said it, you and I can certainly be open to the possibility it is true.

It may not seem it, but you are in a fantastic place right now if you are reading these words. For if you can now realize that you can alter your life, change your circumstances and create a life you desire, just by “altering your attitude” then your life is about to get a whole lot better.

Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.
Michael

A View from the wing…

I’m happy to share with you this guest blog, written by my wife and wingmate, about finding angels and wingmen in the unlikeliest of places.

Imagining how the US Postal Service even begins to organize, manage and distribute all of its millions of letters, packages and boxes and actually sees to their accurate delivery is for me akin to understanding how airplanes fly. I know there is a science to it, but I figure there must be some divine intervention at play as well. And so, as I made my way to my town’s Post Office with a package for my daughter addressed to some strange sounding place in Kathmandu, Nepal, my confidence level wasn’t high.

At the counter the harried clerk asked me the destination of the package as she gave me the customs form and instructed me on how to fill it out. “What’s in the box?” she queried. I made a mental list: Airborne and Pepto Bismol, shampoo and lotion, probiotics and vitamin D, anything from the drug store that might keep her safe and healthy, there was her favorite childhood storybook in case a sad and lonely night ever surfaced, a pair of earrings, and some games and toys for the children she is working with in an orphanage in Kathmandu. And cards, birthday cards from me and my husband, “I miss you cards” and little love notes. “What’s in the box?” she asked again. “My heart”, I blurted out. The clerk, the harried, busy, overworked, clerk, stopped and peered at me over her glasses. “Is she your only one” she asked, I replied” Well, I have two step- kids as well”. She looked at me squarely. “So she’s your heart.”

This woman behind the counter, this stranger proceeded to tell me how she was an only child, an only daughter and when her mother was sick and dying she stopped everything to care for her round the clock. “I didn’t care about anything else, “she said, “the job, my routine, my life, nothing mattered but being able to care for my mother”. In awe, I replied, “She was so blessed to have you.” She smiled, “I was blessed to have her.”

She took my box then and taped and re-taped the seams, she covered the address so it wouldn’t smear, she marveled at the faraway journey my daughter was on. I asked her, “What are the chances this package will make it to her?” having been made doubtful by my on- line investigation of the Nepalese mail system. “I’d say 85%”, she offered, “but we are going to have faith and believe it will make it”.

So, there is a package out there moving toward a faraway place, held aloft by the USPS, the hands of strangers, airplanes, delivery trucks, and magic and faith. Kind of how we walk through life, how we send our kids out there into the universe. Just like that package, we tape it carefully, insure it fully, track its journey online as far as we can, and then pray. Pray that the box doesn’t break, doesn’t get lost or into the wrong hands. That it makes it to where it is heading, helped along by unlikely angels, who are all around us, even disguised as postal workers at the local post office.

A One Minute Practice…

For this morning’s practice I pretended the situation I can’t get out of my mind and is causing me stress, happened for a good reason.
Again, it’s only for one minute.
Perhaps there’s a lesson I’m to learn.

The practice… is to find it.
Think about what positives can come from it.
I knew when I hit on it, for it gave me a bit of relief, actually even felt good.
Try it if you’re stressing about something. It will help raise your vibration and give you some momentum towards feeling better and accomplishing more.

It certainly helped me this morning.

In Appreciation,
Michael

Much to be Thankful for…

I hope you have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

As I think back one year, to last Thanksgiving, I am thrilled with how much I have to be thankful for. While the health and happiness of loved ones and friends certainly tops the list, equally as important is my belief that I have truly taken control of my own life, my own experience.

Is it really as easy as one minute per day? For me it has been, for since putting it out there, and actually practicing what I preach, I look back at what has been a very exciting year for me.
It began with my car breaking down last Thanksgiving morning and asking my wingman (who happens to be myself), what I should do?
I shot back, “Practice what you preach, find the positive.”

What are you working on?

That day, I started working on me.
By being consistent and practicing for 1 minute each morning, doing something fun which helped me feel just a little bit better, my energy started to become more positive.

There were days I didn’t practice, although as I built up some consistency it got easier, the down times less frequent. Once I learned how much it helped, how much better I felt and how much more productive I was when feeling better, I embraced it.

I began looking forward to my one minute practices.

Could I really improve my situation that easily?
Would I really be able to feel better, have more enthusiasm and be more helpful just by doing one of my practices for one minute?

I’m happy to report I’ve been able to. And not just me,  Others I’ve been honored to have assisted, who’ve allowed me to do what I love, which is be a Wingman to them, have reported the same findings.

Simply by practicing for one minute each day, they’ve created more success in their lives.

If you would like to receive the one minute practice I’ll be working on each morning, please send me an email, or click here to follow on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/BeYourOwnWingman#. 

Of course, please try the practice for one minute. If it resonates for you, you’ll be well on your way to better peace of mind, improved clarity and a greater sense of thankfulness at next year’s Thanksgiving.

Hoping you find much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving,
Your Wingman, Michael

“May I clean your windshield”?

This past Friday, I stopped to fill my car up with gasoline and had the opportunity to be served by a young man who clearly makes it a practice of “Going the Extra Mile”.

Not only did he do his job of filling my gas tank, but he did it promptly, with courtesy and a smile. In today’s society, that in and of itself, would be considered going the extra mile. When he asked if he could clean my windshield, I was so surprised, I did not answer him immediately. When I finally said yes, he did so with a cheerfulness that had my wife and I discussing long after we got on the road.

It got me thinking of how often in my life I haven’t gone the extra mile, and how I felt those times I did. Talk about us all being connected. Not only did the person I was serving feel they were being well taken care of, but equally as important was how I felt about myself at those times. I never felt taken advantage of, quite the contrary, I always felt pleased with myself, satisfied and full of pride.

Interestingly, on Saturday, having returned home from an all day conference, I naturally asked my wife about her day. “I had a really great day” she smiled. “You know how we discussed going the extra mile? I got to do it today”. She was beaming and I couldn’t wait to hear more. She described being at the drive up window at the bank when an elderly man pulled into the parking lot, got out of his car and proceeded to ask people how to get to a particular address in our town. No one, including my wife knew where it was. “He looked so forlorn” my wife said, “and I realized I have a GPS and could look it up. As I started telling him how to get there I could tell he was confused. So I offered to drive there and he could follow me”. My wife’s grin was now spreading wide across her face. “He was so appreciative. It made me feel so great.”

And so, by driving a couple miles out of her way, my wife turned an ordinary Saturday into an exceptional feeling. It is an attitude worth developing.

Napoleon Hill said it best with his Extra Mile Formula.

“Render more and better service than you are paid for, and sooner or later you will receive compound interest from your investment. It is inevitable that every seed of useful service you sow will sprout and reward you with an abundant harvest.

Going the extra mile is not the sort of principle that can be put into practice in a few easy steps. Instead it is a state of mind that you must develop, so that it is a part of everything you do. There is a subtle, but powerful, mental attitude connected with it. Remember, your best recommendation is the one you give yourself by rendering superior service in the right mental attitude.

My new practice is easily defined. At least once each day I am going to look for an opportunity to be of service to someone, to do so with a smile on my face and in my heart. I can’t imagine a better technique on my path to being my own wingman.

Therefore, I’m honored to offer my wingman of the week award to Jimmy, the gas station attendant who reminded me of a forgotten, but surefire method for staying upbeat, and keeping a positive and confident outlook as we go about our day.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,
Michael

A Buddhist Monk

So the other day my wife and I were doing some cleaning up in our garden, removing some bushes and cutting down some small trees. I actually like working in the garden, although you might not have known it from the amount of complaining I was doing.
Especially when I had to cut the wood and carry it to the front of the house.
It was at that moment my wife calmly reminded me (laughingly I may add) of the Zen proverb,

"Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood carry water".

I'm not sure how far along the path of enlightenment I am, but I do know, once again, my wife knew how to get me back on track. And so, it came to be, after a long afternoon of work, there along the curb sat the fruits of our labor, piles of not so neatly stacked wood, tree branches, weeds and bushes. I must say I was feeling pretty good about a job well done.

A couple hours and a shower later we were heading out for an evening with friends. Imagine my surprise, at the exact moment we were leaving, a van pulled up to the front of our house and out stepped two Buddhist monks. Just to remind you, we live in Haddonfield, NJ, not Burma or Nepal.

Was this a sign? Was the universe showing me a new path?
I certainly took it as one.

As they silently asked if it was ok for them to take the wood, I (not so silently) asked if I may call upon them to learn more of their practices.
Brother Michio granted my request and gave me his phone number.
I called, and yesterday went to his home and enjoyed 3 hours speaking dharma and truth, religion and spirituality, of the natural laws of the universe and of how we each create our own life. We sat legs folded (ok, I admit, he sat legs folded, I was unable to after 10 minutes) and talked about having desires and being desireless, of things that are good and of things that are bad. He showed me his garden, from which he eats most of his meals, and explained much about how our egos can so often control us. The more we spoke, the more I realized how much further I have on my path to enlightenment. He seemed to enjoy my one minute practices and my Be Your Own Wingman philosophy. Each time I asked how, or what I could do to further my understanding, he would smile and say, “one minute at a time”.

And so, once again my path was affirmed. For my one minute practices that I’ve been sharing with you, are, just as Brother Michio said, one minute steps towards more peace, more contentment, more understanding, and in his words, more realization.

Isn’t it amazing what an afternoon of gardening can bring about? (Although please don’t tell my wife).

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,

Michael

I love how everything always works out for me.

I love when I come up with a new practice that sticks.
The other day, I saw the movie, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” and there’s a scene where Dev Patel says,
“Here we have a saying, everything will be all right in the end, so if it is not all right, it is not the end”.

It got me thinking, which led me to my new, one minute practice.

“I love when everything works out for me.”
I started saying that on Monday and it felt great. So I continued each morning this week.

Take one minute and say to yourself,
“Everything always seems to work out for me.”

I recorded myself this morning and this is what I said.

“It’s so cool how everything always works out for me.
Oh Wow! This will be so interesting to see how this (situation) will work out for me.
It doesn’t seem possible but I know this will work out for me because everything always works out for me.
I am so lucky that everything always works out for me.
I don’t know how this will work out for me, but I know it will, and I can’t wait to find out how. It will really be interesting.
What an interesting and fascinating day this will be, I am so excited for it.
It is so awesome how everything always works out for me.

What a great feeling it is to know this will work out.
How do I know? Because everything always works out for me!
There have been so many times that things did not seem to be going my way, but yet they always work out.
It’s been so cool to see how the universe unfolds, and to see how things end up working out for me.

It is so exciting to look back and see how things ended up working out so well.
I’m having so much fun.
And to think I used to worry whether things would work out.
It’s so funny to look back and see how they worked out, for they always do.

OMG, I can’t believe how everything worked out.
I’m so fortunate that everything always works out for me.
It’s really interesting when things seem to not be working out and how it challenges me.
When I think about how things always work out for me I feel GREAT!
So often, I’m in a situation where it doesn’t seem possible that it could work out to my liking, yet it always does. I’m really lucky in that respect.
Things do seem to always work out for me.

Sometimes it seems so impossible, that my logical mind can’t even imagine.
Those are the times I just sit back and let the universe work it out for me. It always does.
When I just relax and let the universe handle it, things always work out for me.

What an amazing feeling.

I love practicing this feeling, and I love when I can let the How’s and the Why’s go and just allow things to work out.
It is so amazing and so much fun, when I can just let it go. When those “issues” work out, those are the times I really enjoy and appreciate life.
I don’t know how it always happens, but everything always works out for me.”

Please try it, and hopefully it will work as well for you.

Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,

Michael

My New Favorite Practice

Back in February I wrote about being introduced to the practice of saying thank you. I’m happy to say this practice has become one of my favorites, meaning I practice it often.

I have found the more I say thank you, the more I find to say thank you about. Try it, it’s easy, I put the timer on my phone for one minute (sometimes more) and start saying thank you as if I’m standing at the Academy awards, just saying thank you to a mass of strangers without any real reason.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, thank you. “

I then start thinking of reasons I have to be thankful.

Thank you for reading this.

Thank you for helping me create a synergy amongst all of us.

Thank you for helping me help people bring positive energy into their lives.

Thank you for helping me to practice what I preach.

Thank you for helping me help myself. I appreciate it greatly.

Thank you for finding love in all the right places.

Thank you for the air that I breathe.

Thank you for the walk through the woods I take every morning.

Thank you for the clothes that I wear.

Thank you for the sun that shines down on me.

Thank you for the rain that helps nurture my world.

Thank you for the car that I drive.

Thank you for my job.

Thank you for the opportunity to earn money.

Thank you for my being me.

Give yourself a hug and thank yourself for who you are and where you are right now.

Thank you for this exciting adventure I’m on.

Thank you for reminding me of the divine being I am.

Thank you for helping me remember I’m in charge of my life.

Thank you for my ability to reason and understand.

Thank you for the brain in my head.

Thank you for the energy that is all around me.

Thank you for helping me attract positive energy.

Thank you for my thought process that I now know I can change in 60 seconds by consciously practicing finding the positive.

Thank you for the mystery that is me.

Thank you for my family.

Thank you for my friends.

Thank you for my understanding that I can create anything I want, just by thinking of it.

Thank you for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,

Michael

The Reality of the Situation

“You’re not seeing the reality of the situation”, I was told the other day as I was intentionally focusing on finding the positives.
“But it’s not real.” As if I didn’t hear him the first time…

Whether on radio, or at workshops or meetings, I have been very vocal about my practice of consciously focusing on seeing positives.  I find the more I practice, the more “unconsciously efficient” I become at seeing positives.
The power of small simple practices can not be over estimated and I’m surprised at how easy and natural it has become.

I’m also well aware of how much more practice is needed.
And so I continue.

One such practice on which I’m currently working, is on shifting my perception.
I have found so much of my “reality”, is totally based on my perception of my reality.
And I’ve learned how my “perception” can so often be easily shifted.
One example is when I did a 10 day fruit and vegetable fast. My perception of eating changed drastically to where I no longer cared about food, only nutrition.
In only 10 days.

Have you ever had a situation where you were 100% certain, and, in the next moment, your “reality” was the exact opposite. Understanding that my perception can so easily shift, I decided it would be wise to consciously practice choosing the direction I want to move my perception.

A trusted wingman recently sent me an article from NPR news about a study discussing, for lack of a better term, the power of positive perception.

Jessica Witt, a psychologist at Purdue University who researches how perception and performance are related, decided to look at the game of golf. She found how the appearance of the hole changes depending on whether you are playing well or poorly and decided to see if one could improve their golf score, simply by altering their perception.

In her lab, she made an artificial putting green and used an optical illusion to make the hole appear larger or smaller than it really was. This optical trick (see below) is called the Ebbinghaus illusion and you can see how it appears to change the size of the center hole. She found when people perceived the hole to be larger, they were more successful at making their putts.

This study fascinates me. If shifting one’s perception is all that is needed to improve one’s golf score, then doesn’t it follow that by varying my perception, I too can achieve better results in my professional and/or personal life? I believe it clearly demonstrates that my outcome can be improved by changing my perception.

Have a sales call today?
See your prospect as wanting to do business with you.
Have a mountain of paperwork to get through?
Try perceiving it as a smaller pile.
Meeting with your boss, or your employee?
Look at it through their eyes for one minute.

Whatever your challenge, try altering your perception, even for just one minute.
You too, will be amazed at the results, and how easy it is for your momentum to swing, your confidence to increase, and your “reality” to improve.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation
Michael

"No S#*t Sherlock"...

I would like to thank those of you who replied to my last blog/email entitled,
"When I enjoy playing, I play better".

The above comment, “No S#*t Sherlock” was from a loved one and family member, and demonstrates how simple this really is.
Here is my answer.

My Dear Mr. Watson,

You are so correct.
Amazing, isn't it? How simple life really is?
And how, intellectually speaking, we all know it so well.

That's what makes it so puzzling.
How we all know it, yet, very few of us actually live it.
How we can all speak it, but we don't act it.
How, instead of being thankful for what we have, we focus on what we don't.
How simple it really is, and how difficult we make it.

I am thrilled by your "No S#*t Sherlock" comment
and the fact that you grasp this so easily.
Again, most people recognize and agree with the logic of it.

The difficulty seems to be the consistency, which I know I have struggled with. That is why I have developed so many different practices and make sure to do at least one each day.
For while I enjoy discussing it academically, I have found I'm at my best when I actually practice living it.

Therefore...

I now consciously practice looking for positives in whatever situation I'm in.
I now consciously practice thinking better feeling thoughts.
I now consciously practice seeing myself as I want to be seen.
I now consciously practice saying thank you for what I have and for the lessons I have learned.

I hope these practices help you as much as they've helped me.
Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,
Michael

When I enjoy playing, I play better.

When I enjoy playing, I play better.
When I enjoy working, I work better.
When I enjoy exercising, I exercise better.
When I enjoy learning, I learn better.

Do you find this to be true?
When you enjoy what you’re doing, do you find you do it better?
I know I do.

When I enjoy selling, I sell better.
When I enjoy teaching, I teach better.
When I enjoy writing, I write better.

The question I ask myself then, is how?  How does one “enjoy” the doing, when there are goals to be achieved, sales quotas to be met and deadlines to be adhered to.

What works for me are my practices that help keep me in a positive frame of mind.
One such practice is simply named “Finding the Positive” and I actually practice finding something good about the circumstances, something I can be thankful for.
Once I uncover one positive, more seem to follow.
Perhaps these practices will work for you as well.

Btw… When I enjoy practicing, I practice better.

How about those times it seems more difficult to “enjoy” …
For instance, the salesman who is worried and focused about meeting his quota is not “enjoying” selling. How does he change his focus so he now “enjoys” the sales process?

By finding the positive.
By shifting his focus to those parts of the job he really enjoys.
Perhaps it’s his belief in his product or service?
Perhaps it’s the people he works with or the freedom his job affords him?
Perhaps it’s the challenge of helping others?
Or perhaps it’s his paycheck?

Whatever it is, when he enjoys his work, he works better.
How about you?

What do you do?
When you enjoy _________ing, you’ll _________ better.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Keep Your Discipline Rolling

On this 10^th and final day of our 10 day challenge, I thank each of you for reading this and holding me to some measure of accountability. Today’s practice is perfect for the last day of a challenge like this. “Keep Your Discipline Rolling”.

We all know how easy it is to stop your routine, how it often becomes either mentally tiring or just physically boring, be it going to the gym, eating a certain way, practicing seeing positives, quieting your mind, or whatever it is you do.

Keeping your discipline rolling doesn’t mean you don’t take a vacation day or even a week. It does mean when you realize you haven’t been physically exercising or you just had a great cheese steak (with fries and a milkshake), you get back on your game.  You pick up the ball and start practicing immediately, i.e. get back on your eating plan, go to the gym, or practice seeing positives and quieting your mind.

It’s really quite simple, but for some reason we make it far more difficult.
Just start anew. Broke your diet? Start back on it. Haven’t exercised, put on your walking shoes and go for a walk. 
Nike may have said it best with their ad slogan, “Just Do It”.

This 10 day challenge has helped me tremendously. While I will take a short break from writing this blog, it has shown me that I can write everyday.
And knowing that feels really good to me.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

The Continuum

I’m starting to notice the more I am able to allow, the better chance of my desired outcome actually happening. I have struggled with this concept and therefore have developed a few practices to help me be more proficient at it.

The continuum is one such practice and one I will be practicing today.
It works like this…

1) I have a desire. I want something to happen.
2) I acknowledge I want this desired outcome.
3) Here’s the tricky part, I try to become aware of where I am on the continuum of wanting vs. allowing. Am I wanting it so badly that I’m actually resisting it, almost forcing any other outcome than that which I desire? Or am I able to sit with my desire, and just allow it to happen.

Do you know the feeling I’m speaking of? One example might be when you want your child to listen to you so badly that you don’t stop talking long enough to hear what they have to say.

As I said, I have struggled with this. For to get to the point of allowing I must first have a desire. I have noticed when I am able to allow my requests to come about, they seem to materialize much easier than when I can’t get past the wanting.

I realized for me, the wording is important. When I notice I am too close to wanting on my continuum, and not close enough to allowing, I INVITE my aspiration to transpire and leave it at that.

Let me give you a current example Three months ago on Talk-N-Angels Radio Show, I had the opportunity to interview Dr. Bernie Siegel, the brilliant author of, “Love, Medicine and Miracles” as well as his new book, “A Book of Miracles”. It turns out he lives in Woodbridge, Ct. and I will be driving up there next month to visit family. I would like to have lunch with him so I sent him an email, inviting him to have lunch with me. In inviting him, I have put my desire out there. To do anything more (a phone call or second email) would more likely damage my chances for my desired outcome. I have put it out there by inviting him. I now must just allow it to take place.

Today, I will practice moving closer to allowing.
You should give it a try as well.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

An Old Poker Saying…

“The next best thing to playing and winning, is playing and losing”

I can assure you at the moment I’m leaving a poker room, if I’m leaving with less money then I arrived with, I’m not thinking this quote is entirely accurate. If I’ve lost money at the tables that day, I’m more likely to be disappointed, hurt, irritated, pissed, frustrated, angry, etc. The emotions I’m feeling fall squarely on the side of negative. It is at those times I utilize some of my practices to help me get back into a better, more positive mood.

However, as I’ve often said, “For me, a poker room is like a classroom of life”.
And so if I transcribe this saying to…

“Life, the next best thing to playing and winning, is playing and losing”

I begin to understand it better.
I start to realize life is not about winning or losing, it’s about PLAYING.

And so for today’s practice I would like you to join me in playing something, play a game, play an instrument, play with a friend or better, play at work. I’m not saying to regard your work as frivolous; when I say “play at work” I mean enjoy your work today. Enjoy what you have chosen to do to earn a living just for today.

Today, I’m going to practice playing the game of my life by practicing finding joy in each situation I encounter.

I hope you enjoy today, and thanks for letting me be your wingman.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Don't buck your own trend.

Today I want to make sure I’m aware of which way my momentum is trending.
I want to make sure I’m feeling that feeling I get in my gut.
Women often call it “intuition”.
Being a guy, I call it my gut instinct.
And if there is one thing I’m certain of, it’s that over the years, when I’ve felt, trusted and acted upon my gut instinct, it’s done well by me.

So today’s practice is to make certain I’m in touch with my gut.
Not to change that feeling, only to practice feeling it.
Yesterday’s practice was a way to change a bad feeling.
Today’s practice is just to feel it. And to sit with that feeling.

Why? Because I’ve learned it’s very difficult to buck my own trend.

So it pays to know which way I’m trending.
Are things going my way or do I feel like I’m running uphill?
Are things feeling “easy”, or is everything a struggle?

Today is all about feeling. Not acting, just feeling.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Cancel, Cancel, Delete, Delete.

It’s not about you, not exactly. It’s about your energy. It’s about your vibration. Is the inertia of your energy moving in the direction you want, or is it moving in a direction you do not want?

Because somehow, if it’s not going how you like, you’ve got to stop it. And according to the laws of inertia, an object will continue moving at its current velocity until some force causes its speed or direction to change.

Therefore, the negative thoughts running through my mind have a certain momentum and will continue to dominate my psyche unless I apply a force strong enough to change that.

What I practiced this morning is how I now change my “vibe”. I heard a friend say this in the midst of a conversation, maybe you’ve heard it as well.

“Cancel, Cancel, Delete, Delete”.

While this seems similar to my Hocus, Pocus, Change Your Focus practice I’ve mentioned previously, “Cancel, Cancel, Delete, Delete” has helped me more as of late. The few times I’ve tried this practice, it has worked efficiently. Perhaps because when I say it, I end up laughing that I’m actually saying it and immediately, I’ve forgotten the negative thoughts that were running through my mind.

Cancel, Cancel, Delete, Delete! Boom! Done! And I’m onto something new.
Give it a try today when you want to change the inertia of your energy.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael