Keep Your Discipline Rolling

On this 10^th and final day of our 10 day challenge, I thank each of you for reading this and holding me to some measure of accountability. Today’s practice is perfect for the last day of a challenge like this. “Keep Your Discipline Rolling”.

We all know how easy it is to stop your routine, how it often becomes either mentally tiring or just physically boring, be it going to the gym, eating a certain way, practicing seeing positives, quieting your mind, or whatever it is you do.

Keeping your discipline rolling doesn’t mean you don’t take a vacation day or even a week. It does mean when you realize you haven’t been physically exercising or you just had a great cheese steak (with fries and a milkshake), you get back on your game.  You pick up the ball and start practicing immediately, i.e. get back on your eating plan, go to the gym, or practice seeing positives and quieting your mind.

It’s really quite simple, but for some reason we make it far more difficult.
Just start anew. Broke your diet? Start back on it. Haven’t exercised, put on your walking shoes and go for a walk. 
Nike may have said it best with their ad slogan, “Just Do It”.

This 10 day challenge has helped me tremendously. While I will take a short break from writing this blog, it has shown me that I can write everyday.
And knowing that feels really good to me.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

The Continuum

I’m starting to notice the more I am able to allow, the better chance of my desired outcome actually happening. I have struggled with this concept and therefore have developed a few practices to help me be more proficient at it.

The continuum is one such practice and one I will be practicing today.
It works like this…

1) I have a desire. I want something to happen.
2) I acknowledge I want this desired outcome.
3) Here’s the tricky part, I try to become aware of where I am on the continuum of wanting vs. allowing. Am I wanting it so badly that I’m actually resisting it, almost forcing any other outcome than that which I desire? Or am I able to sit with my desire, and just allow it to happen.

Do you know the feeling I’m speaking of? One example might be when you want your child to listen to you so badly that you don’t stop talking long enough to hear what they have to say.

As I said, I have struggled with this. For to get to the point of allowing I must first have a desire. I have noticed when I am able to allow my requests to come about, they seem to materialize much easier than when I can’t get past the wanting.

I realized for me, the wording is important. When I notice I am too close to wanting on my continuum, and not close enough to allowing, I INVITE my aspiration to transpire and leave it at that.

Let me give you a current example Three months ago on Talk-N-Angels Radio Show, I had the opportunity to interview Dr. Bernie Siegel, the brilliant author of, “Love, Medicine and Miracles” as well as his new book, “A Book of Miracles”. It turns out he lives in Woodbridge, Ct. and I will be driving up there next month to visit family. I would like to have lunch with him so I sent him an email, inviting him to have lunch with me. In inviting him, I have put my desire out there. To do anything more (a phone call or second email) would more likely damage my chances for my desired outcome. I have put it out there by inviting him. I now must just allow it to take place.

Today, I will practice moving closer to allowing.
You should give it a try as well.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

An Old Poker Saying…

“The next best thing to playing and winning, is playing and losing”

I can assure you at the moment I’m leaving a poker room, if I’m leaving with less money then I arrived with, I’m not thinking this quote is entirely accurate. If I’ve lost money at the tables that day, I’m more likely to be disappointed, hurt, irritated, pissed, frustrated, angry, etc. The emotions I’m feeling fall squarely on the side of negative. It is at those times I utilize some of my practices to help me get back into a better, more positive mood.

However, as I’ve often said, “For me, a poker room is like a classroom of life”.
And so if I transcribe this saying to…

“Life, the next best thing to playing and winning, is playing and losing”

I begin to understand it better.
I start to realize life is not about winning or losing, it’s about PLAYING.

And so for today’s practice I would like you to join me in playing something, play a game, play an instrument, play with a friend or better, play at work. I’m not saying to regard your work as frivolous; when I say “play at work” I mean enjoy your work today. Enjoy what you have chosen to do to earn a living just for today.

Today, I’m going to practice playing the game of my life by practicing finding joy in each situation I encounter.

I hope you enjoy today, and thanks for letting me be your wingman.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Don't buck your own trend.

Today I want to make sure I’m aware of which way my momentum is trending.
I want to make sure I’m feeling that feeling I get in my gut.
Women often call it “intuition”.
Being a guy, I call it my gut instinct.
And if there is one thing I’m certain of, it’s that over the years, when I’ve felt, trusted and acted upon my gut instinct, it’s done well by me.

So today’s practice is to make certain I’m in touch with my gut.
Not to change that feeling, only to practice feeling it.
Yesterday’s practice was a way to change a bad feeling.
Today’s practice is just to feel it. And to sit with that feeling.

Why? Because I’ve learned it’s very difficult to buck my own trend.

So it pays to know which way I’m trending.
Are things going my way or do I feel like I’m running uphill?
Are things feeling “easy”, or is everything a struggle?

Today is all about feeling. Not acting, just feeling.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Cancel, Cancel, Delete, Delete.

It’s not about you, not exactly. It’s about your energy. It’s about your vibration. Is the inertia of your energy moving in the direction you want, or is it moving in a direction you do not want?

Because somehow, if it’s not going how you like, you’ve got to stop it. And according to the laws of inertia, an object will continue moving at its current velocity until some force causes its speed or direction to change.

Therefore, the negative thoughts running through my mind have a certain momentum and will continue to dominate my psyche unless I apply a force strong enough to change that.

What I practiced this morning is how I now change my “vibe”. I heard a friend say this in the midst of a conversation, maybe you’ve heard it as well.

“Cancel, Cancel, Delete, Delete”.

While this seems similar to my Hocus, Pocus, Change Your Focus practice I’ve mentioned previously, “Cancel, Cancel, Delete, Delete” has helped me more as of late. The few times I’ve tried this practice, it has worked efficiently. Perhaps because when I say it, I end up laughing that I’m actually saying it and immediately, I’ve forgotten the negative thoughts that were running through my mind.

Cancel, Cancel, Delete, Delete! Boom! Done! And I’m onto something new.
Give it a try today when you want to change the inertia of your energy.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Julie Andrews

Have you ever gone to bed irritated, either at someone, some thing or, even worse, yourself? Then, lo and behold, when you wake up, you find yourself still in an irritated mood. Well that's where I found myself this morning and I know from my past, oftentimes when a day begins like this, it continues like this.

I realized immediately I needed to do something to get me in a better mood.

What I decided to do was a practice I call "Julie Andrews" because of her wonderful song “A Few of My Favorite Things” in the movie, The Sound of Music.
It's an easy exercise and one you can even do while driving to work.
Just start thinking of better feeling thoughts.

I thought about...
That I had a really nice date with my wife on Saturday ( we went to grounds for sculpture, highly recommended).
A movie I saw and really liked (The Way, by Emilio Estevez, starring his Dad, Martin Sheen).
How much fun I'm having doing the Talk-n-Angels radio show.
How I had a nice time earlier this week playing poker.
How business seems to be going well.
Of having lunch with my son yesterday.
How much i enjoy taking walks with my dog.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. Any thought that makes me feel a little bit better is a thought worth thinking.

Now, if things are not going so well in your life then it may be best to expand your thought process as Julie did when singing her song. She sung of more general types of things, such as raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Again, any thought that makes you feel better, is a thought worth thinking.

The longer I went on, the better I started feeling.
And pretty soon, I was in a pretty good mood.
This is a practice I have done a few times before and it always seems to work.
Try it for yourself and see if it can help you turn your mood around.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Harry Potter’s Mirror

Today’s practice comes from the fantastic books and movies by JK Rowling about a young wizard named Harry Potter. In one of the earlier books, we are introduced to a mirror of Erised on which is inscribed, “I show not your face, but your heart’s desire”.

This morning, I decided to have a look in my “mirror” and think about what I truly wish for, what I would like to bring into my life over the next week, month, year, decade and/or rest of my life. One thing I have learned since starting Be Your Own Wingman is I can bring whatever I want into my life by just thinking about it, for those thoughts will bring about inspired action and as I put my desires out into the universe, the universe will respond in kind. As I sat this morning and allowed my imagination to run wild, my requests started to grow, and then to my surprise, started to shrink. I realized there are just a few things I truly want to bring into my life. And as I thought of those desires I began to feel as if they were already in my life. It was a truly wonderful feeling, one which I will continue to practice. For by the Law of Attraction, the more time I can spend thinking about and feeling those things which I want to bring into my life, the easier it will be to bring them into my life.

Give it a try. Take a look into your mirror of desire and see what develops. You may be surprised.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Thank You!

I was taking a walk with my wife this morning when we met up with a friend who mentioned an email she had received from Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret.

She said, “To improve any day immediately, say and feel "Thank you" seven times in a row.”

It seemed like a weird practice because I have only practiced saying thank you for specific things, not just to say it. However, seeing as I love to hear about and try any new practices that may help myself or others to elevate our moods, my wife and I decided to try it immediately, although with one small change. Instead of saying and feeling it seven times in a row, we decided to try it for a full 2 minutes.

When the timer on my phone went off, we looked at each other and were both smiling. Needless to say we thought it was a great success and therefore it became today’s practice.

See how it works for you.

Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

I Choose to, or, I Choose not to.

For those of you tuning in late, today is day 2 of my ten day challenge of conscious consecutive practice and today I am practicing being careful with the words I use. I believe many of us self sabotage without realizing it by using words that take our control away from us. Words that have become habitual make us victims instead of empowering us. As a friend once said, “we often don’t understand the power of small words used over and over”.

The words I am targeting today are “I have to” and “I can’t”. How many times a day have you said, “I have to go to work” or “I have to go somewhere”? How many times a day have you said, “I can’t eat this” or I can’t do that”? I’ve probably said those words a thousand times over my lifetime and I realize they just aren’t true. These words have become embedded deeply in my mind and it is a routine I must consciously break.

I don’t have to go to work and I can eat whatever I choose to. Clearly I understand there are consequences to my actions, such as I may get fired if I miss work, or gain weight if I eat a whole pizza, but the truth still remains, they are my choice. Staying mindful of that fact is the point of this exercise.

Therefore, today I will be vigilant with the words I choose. Anytime I say “I have to” or “I can’t” I will immediately correct myself and say “I choose to” or “I choose not to”. It’s as simple as that.

Saying “I choose to”, or “I choose not to”, puts me in control of my life, and that’s exactly where I choose to be.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael

Ten Days of Consecutive Conscious Practice

As mentioned in my last blog (see below) today I'm beginning my 10 day challenge of conscious consecutive practice. Seeing as it is the beginning, I think I should set some ground rules. I am going to list 1 or 2 practices each day that I will be doing. If I list 2, one of them will be a 2 minute thought process I do each morning; the other will be something I will focus on during that day.

My plan is to get so consistent with my practices that they become second nature to me. I appreciate you joining me in this endeavor and hope it helps you as much as it helps me. Of course I would appreciate any feedback. Thanks so much.

Day 1. Lucky Man and Be Decisive.

Lucky Man. I was listening to the radio last night and the song Lucky Man by Emerson, Lake and Palmer came on. It got me thinking about a new way to practice. So this morning I decided to start my 10 days of practice by taking 2 minutes, and thinking and saying anything I feel lucky for. Be it people in my life, material objects, or things i have accomplished, I went on a two minute rampage of things I feel lucky about. I did it this morning and find it helps put me in a better frame of mind as I go about my day. Hopefully it will work as well for you.

Be Decisive. A friend had mentioned she was stressing about her lack of decision making so I thought this was a great one to start with. Over the years I have found it to be far more important that I make a decision, and line up with that decision, not which decision I make. Too many times I have second guessed my decision, or worse, not made a choice and the decision was made for me. Therefore, today I will practice being decisive. For today, I will not worry about which option I select, only that I select one. Be it small, such as what I will have for breakfast, or a more important decision, today I am going to decide quickly by which feels best to me at the time and I will not second guess it. I will make it, own it, and embrace it.

Today, I will practice being decisive and I will be decisive.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,

Michael

10 days of Consecutive Conscious Practice

Between my catching the flu and my computer breaking down, my 10 day challenge had to be postponed and will now begin on Monday. Have a wonderful weekend and I look forward to you joining me then.
Thanks,
Michael

Yet Again, Another Opportunity to Practice.

Have you ever noticed how “your” issues seem to pop up in so many random places that you start to realize, maybe they’re not so random.  Like you move half way around the world, and, isn’t that interesting, there’s “your” issue once again.

My Happy Hour, Be Your Own Wingman style, was a really fun, positive night.  Thanks to all who attended.  Your emails and follow up conversations have felt so warm and wonderful, I greatly appreciate them.

However, from that night, my “issue” has reemerged and I haven’t written a blog or chapter since.  So why no follow up?  I’ve noticed, for what seems like the thousandth time in my life, that after a successful endeavor, I don’t follow through, I basically “drop the ball” and don’t take advantage of the momentum I have created.  I just don’t finish, be it in my professional or personal life. 

Do you have that issue as well?  When you have a successful event or experience, one that should be followed up on, be it in business or life, does fear, perfectionism, inertia or laziness get in your way and you… do nothing.  You let the opportunity pass and tell yourself its ok.    It’s like you resist… everything.  And once that gets in your head, like many things, I guess that’s how it becomes your issue. 

Well, if there is one thing I’ve learned since beginning BeYourOwnWingman.com is that I can do, be or have anything I put my mind to.  I just have to think about what I want and begin to practice.  

So today, I change.  No more will this be “my issue”. 

Today I become a consistent finisher.  I have decided to put two of my practices together to accomplish that.  The 2 practices are:

1)      Progress not Perfection, and

2)      Keep your discipline rolling.

Has this ever happened to you?  Where you wanted to follow up something, be it a

phone call, conversation, exercise plan, diet, project, etc. and you procrastinated until the moment has passed? 

Be it business or more private, have you ever had “paralysis by analysis”?

Then perhaps you will want to join me in my latest challenge, one that will require us to “keep our discipline rolling, stay consistent, and finish what we start”.  My thinking is to do something that requires a bit of discipline, although keep it achievable, and put it out there so there is some accountability.

This is what I’ve come up with.

Starting Friday, I will write at least a paragraph on whatever practice I did that morning, and will do so for the next 10 days. 

I ask that you join me and do a practice of your own choosing, or the one I’ve chosen, daily for the next 10 days. It will only take about 2 minutes each day and having you join me via email will help create a great deal of synergy for all of us. 

You can also just read it on my blog as well, www.beyourownwingman.com, but, if you would like to commit to consciously doing a practice each and every day for the next 10 days, email me back and I will email you the exercise I did that particular morning.

It may not be perfect, but it will certainly be progress and the practice will help us attract more positive energy and better outcomes to our lives.  The funny thing is, as I write this I realize the perfection is actually in the progress.  Just keep moving forward, yeah, that’s it, progress, not perfection.  We can do this.

I look forward to joining me, and to your comments.

Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,

Michael