A Time to Forgive

I have read and heard much discussion during this past week about forgiveness for wrongs done against God and against other human beings.  According to Jewish tradition, at the end of today, this Day of Atonement, I am to consider myself absolved by God for those sins.

But what about forgiving myself? 

Will I be able to pardon myself, to forgive and forget the things I’ve done?  Or will I continue to hold onto my mistakes and carry them around with me for another year. 

If God is able to forgive me shouldn’t I be able to as well?

In his book “The Four Agreements” Don Miguel Ruiz discusses how humans are the only species on earth that pays for a mistake 1000 times.  We dwell on it, we stew on it, we just don’t let it go.  And by law of attraction, it continues to impact our lives in a negative way.  

“That which is like unto itself is drawn”

If I’m holding onto something on a “vibrational” level, something for which I can not forgive myself, it seems to reason that I will attract more of that which I can not forgive myself.

If God is able to forgive me shouldn’t I be able to as well. 

But how? 

In one of my favorite movies, House of Games, Lilia Skala, as Dr. Maria Littauer says, “When you have done something unforgivable,

I'll tell you exactly what to do.  You forgive yourself.”

And so, today, I began a practice of self forgiveness, and I ask you to join me as well in this exercise… as my own wingman sees it.

First, I looked at the situation to see what good may have come from it.

Second, I looked at the situation to see what lessons I could learn from it. 

Third, I studied those lessons so as to learn from my mistakes.

Fourth, I looked again at what good, now has come from it.

“If defeat has more to teach us than victory, then perhaps a defeat is a victory unto itself.

                                                Miron Stabinsky, Zen and the Art of Casino Gaming

And fifth, I cast it aside by breathing in one of Deepak Chopra’s meditations, derived from a course in miracles, “Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle.  I relinquish all regrets, grievances and resentments and choose the miracle”.

Hope this helps you as much as it does me.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation, Mike