Panic Point

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about people physically getting sick as they approach an exciting opportunity for growth.  I’ve seen it termed an upper limit or a terror barrier.

It’s that point where your nerves overtake your exhilaration of the moment.  It happens to all of us, whether you’re a big time professional, or a child entering their first day of school.  It happens in little league and it happens in the World Series.  It happens in local theatre and it happens on Broadway.  You’re scared stiff. 

It’s when fear takes over and pushes all your enthusiasm for the moment aside.

I call it your Panic Point. 

"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."  Mark Twain
                                                                                   

Do you understand?  There is always fear.  We all get scared.  And while it’s easy for me to say don’t let fear stop you, when that moment arises, and you feel your heart pounding and your stomach rising up into your throat, that is your time.  If you don’t define it, it will define you.

“If you are going to go through hell, keep going."  Sir Winston Churchill

Easier said then done.  Keep going, but how? 

How do we keep going when our anxiety has our feet rooted to the ground? 

How do we practice courage in the face of fear?

One way I’ve found to practice is to visualize the moment.  Not by dreaming about it but by preparing for it.  Visualize how you want the moment to go.  Think about it.  Plan it. 

Too many of us let our fear take control, and get so consumed with it that we forget to prepare. 

Remember taking your driver’s test when you were a teenager?  Remember the fear building up inside you?  Who wasn’t scared as the instructor entered your car?  

But you were prepared because you had practiced.  You practiced turning and braking and parking, and when it came time to parallel park, even though your hands were sweating and you couldn’t catch your breath, you did it. You did it because you couldn’t wait to drive.  You beat down your fear and afterward were laughing about it with friends.

That’s how fear is.  You build it up so much in your mind you just want to run away.  But just like passing your driving test, or any challenge you encounter, fear is like a smoky fog, and preparation the strong wind blowing it away.

Preparation breeds confidence, and confidence generates courage, and courage masters fear.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.”

Each occasion brings you another opportunity to practice, and on the path to being your own Wingman, practice and preparation are vital.

Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,  Mike

The Owl...

The Owl...

"Be cool this morning Monte,” I said to my dog, “I want to see something". 
He'll often chase away deer before I can I get a real look at them.

Immediately, the Owl to my left called me over.
As many of you know, to hear an Owl is one thing, to see one, so much rarer. 
This one called me straight to him. 

Over our morning juice I told my wife about the owl.  "What's so amazing, you're in the woods, you see owls."  "Not like this", I replied. 
Clearly I had been expecting a different reaction.

"Do you recall my conversation with Bill, the insurance executive at that big meeting I attended last month?  I know this sounds a bit strange but I feel like I had the same conversation today with the owl?

"Really, tell me about it." I think I saw her reach for her phone and start dialing 911.

“Remember, I had thanked him for inviting me to the meeting and expressed some doubts about some business issues”.

He replied, "Don't worry, it will all work out, you'll see" in such a way, I felt I was being inducted into some kind of secret society.
My "conversation" today with the owl was the same. 
In his hooting, I heard, "Don't worry, it will all work out, you'll see".

"Perhaps you should wash the kitchen floor."
That was my wife's way of saying I'm losing it and need to do something productive.  Generational wisdom passed down through the years.
At least she put down the phone.

"Ok", I said dropping it, but I knew more research was needed. I had another meeting scheduled with Bill, my straight laced insurance executive friend, so, at the risk of really being institutionalized; I mentioned the owl story to him.

"You know Mike, I'm from the country and I've seen a few owls… but I'll tell you something, there are things in our world many people don't ever get to see, but we know they are there".

"I know” I said way too excitedly, for at that moment I was certain he was speaking of angels, wingmen and wise owls.  Or was it something else entirely? 
I never got to ask, for at that moment he was called away and our conversation ended.

I returned home, picked up the mop, and started on the kitchen floor.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation, Mike

Success begets success.

And the better it gets, the better it gets.

Fresh off my 10 day fruit and vegetable cleanse I'm feeling pretty darn good.

Not that physically I'm feeling that much better, but emotionally, spiritually and mentally I feel fantastic, like if I can do that, I can do anything.

I was amazed at how my mindset toward food changed in only 10 days.  The last day we fasted, and it was not even hard for me, as I was no longer eating for enjoyment, only for nourishment.

It became very clear to me how our minds are fantastic tools with which we can use to create any situation we desire.  However, we must make sure it is us who are in control of our own mind and not our ego or some addiction.

The success of this week taught me I have the power, the power to organize and command my mind.  After many small steps, I just took a giant one in my personal growth and development. My "wings" are expanding and I feel great.

I urge you to do the same.  Set up a challenge for yourself, nothing too big, but something that does challenge you.  Spend a little time and consider it.  Put a plan in place, and maybe even a back up plan.  And be prepared to soar.  Start with something simple, something you know you can succeed at, and then succeed.  

Delight in the gratification of achievement, and then do it again.  

General Patton was totally correct, “Accept challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory”. 

I can tell you, I’m feeling victorious, and that is a great feeling to be walking around with.

Thanks for allowing me to be your Wingman today.

In Appreciation,

Mike

A Time to Forgive

I have read and heard much discussion during this past week about forgiveness for wrongs done against God and against other human beings.  According to Jewish tradition, at the end of today, this Day of Atonement, I am to consider myself absolved by God for those sins.

But what about forgiving myself? 

Will I be able to pardon myself, to forgive and forget the things I’ve done?  Or will I continue to hold onto my mistakes and carry them around with me for another year. 

If God is able to forgive me shouldn’t I be able to as well?

In his book “The Four Agreements” Don Miguel Ruiz discusses how humans are the only species on earth that pays for a mistake 1000 times.  We dwell on it, we stew on it, we just don’t let it go.  And by law of attraction, it continues to impact our lives in a negative way.  

“That which is like unto itself is drawn”

If I’m holding onto something on a “vibrational” level, something for which I can not forgive myself, it seems to reason that I will attract more of that which I can not forgive myself.

If God is able to forgive me shouldn’t I be able to as well. 

But how? 

In one of my favorite movies, House of Games, Lilia Skala, as Dr. Maria Littauer says, “When you have done something unforgivable,

I'll tell you exactly what to do.  You forgive yourself.”

And so, today, I began a practice of self forgiveness, and I ask you to join me as well in this exercise… as my own wingman sees it.

First, I looked at the situation to see what good may have come from it.

Second, I looked at the situation to see what lessons I could learn from it. 

Third, I studied those lessons so as to learn from my mistakes.

Fourth, I looked again at what good, now has come from it.

“If defeat has more to teach us than victory, then perhaps a defeat is a victory unto itself.

                                                Miron Stabinsky, Zen and the Art of Casino Gaming

And fifth, I cast it aside by breathing in one of Deepak Chopra’s meditations, derived from a course in miracles, “Every decision I make is a choice between a grievance and a miracle.  I relinquish all regrets, grievances and resentments and choose the miracle”.

Hope this helps you as much as it does me.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation, Mike

Changing My Mindset.

Two days into my fruit and vegetable detox and I realize it's just another practice.

A far more advanced exercise, but an exercise none the less.

My hope is to have this physical cleansing and mental challenge not only help me physically, but bring me more clarity as well.

I also realize how again, it’s just a matter of changing my mindset.

This realization came to me 3 days ago as I was walking with a friend.  I was whining and complaining about this upcoming challenge when, out of nowhere, a giant bee, either a wasp or a cicada killer, flew right into me and stung me.

Along with the pain I felt, was the awareness that my wingmen were there with me, telling me to shut the hell up and just do it.

It was at that point I knew.  Quit my yapping and start preparing. 

Or to paraphrase from one of  my favorite children's book, "The View from Saturday" by E.L. Konigsburg, "You're not preparing to begin, you've already begun".

So begin I did.  I stopped complaining and mentally initiated my cleanse.  We were having a family luncheon the next day, so although physically my plan would not commence until 3:00 pm Thursday, emotionally I was no longer preparing to start, I had started.

Challenge accepted.  Ten days of only fruits and vegetables.  I was told to think of how much good I was doing for my body, but that didn’t motivate me. 

My inspiration was to come from a different place, my spirit.

I have worked hard on being my own wingman, on training my mind to achieve what ever I desire.  This will be a more difficult aspiration but one I felt ready for.

I found myself getting excited.   What better way to assess how far I have come. 

This was just the next test along my path, and I was prepared.

I decided I would view this as one of survival.  For ten days, I am in a jungle, a suburban jungle, but a jungle nonetheless.  I am eating to live, to survive.

And so, now 2 days into it, I'm still feeling optimistic. 

Without salt, sugar and coffee my detox has begun.

Being a Philly guy and watching the Phillies in the playoffs on television without beer and cheese steaks felt very strange.  I do love challenging myself though, so it was a green juice and a bowl of vegetables with a watermelon chaser. 

Eight days left and physically I’m having some headaches, mentally I feel strong.

As George Patton once said,

“Accept challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory”.

In my work with the law of attraction I have found having that exhilarated feeling leads to more elation, and the better it gets, the better it gets.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation, Mike