Thanksgiving morning

My car died thanksgiving morning as I returned from my morning walk in the woods.  And so began my day of giving thanks. 

As a flood of negative thoughts invaded my mind, the one that made the most sense to me at that moment was a practice I developed and speak about with my individual coaching clients and at corporate training presentations.  

I call it Hocus, Pocus, Change My Focus and while it doesn't have a very corporate sounding name, the feedback I get from executives and employees is very positive. 

I decided if I was going to have an enjoyable thanksgiving I better "practice what I preach" so I sat right down and thought, "What would my wingman say"? 

As I had been walking with a trusted friend and wingman, I didn't have to wait long.

"Well, you said you were looking for a sign about your car, you certainly got one." 

Hmmm.  Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but not a bad start either.  I have had some issues with this car over the last couple of years and, while my gut instinct has told me to get rid of it, my habit of procrastination has kept it in my driveway.   

Just like Abraham says, if you have a situation, and you avoid dealing with it, don't worry, it will get bigger.  Truer words were never said concerning my car. 

Once you finally accept this fact you will find you begin to deal with any procrastination you have.  For some of us, it just takes a little longer.  

People often ask me, “how”? 

How can I see a positive when my car is sitting there, broken down, needing to be towed, and will probably cost more than I have currently available to get back on the road? 

As my own wingman, I now know the answer.  Practice!

A positive attitude does not happen overnight. 

But if you begin practicing tonight, I assure you, tomorrow will look a little bit better.  

Let me give you an example of how you might practice in this specific situation. 

Being as its thanksgiving, it's a good time to learn. 

You start by finding something positive, anything you can be thankful for.

My car was in a very safe spot, no one was hurt and

I knew I had some time to think of the best way to handle this ordeal. 

Wow!  Did I just come up with three positives? 

Watch out world, I'm on my way.   

I had been looking for a sign and here I just received one.

I will have the car towed to the dealership, have them fix it and even though the car is out of warranty, have them help me with the cost because it has been a problematic car and they will want to do right by me.

I will then give this car back to the dealership in exchange for fair market value.

My daughter, because she works in the city, is now moving into the city and was looking for a way to save money.  She will not need her car as much so I will share her car with her, thus saving us both money. 

Wow!  I’m almost glad this happened.  NOT! 

Folks, let’s not get crazy here. 

I'm in no way saying I'm glad my car broke down. 

However, I am saying when you can learn to find something, anything to be positive about; somehow you will begin to get more things to be positive about. 

Perhaps it is, as Dr. Wayne Dyer says,

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. 

Or perhaps science has a better explanation with its Law of Inertia,

which states… An object in motion stays in motion, an object at rest stays at rest.   

When you are in a "positive" motion,

by definition, you tend to stay in positive motion.

That's it.  There it is, wrapped up nice and easy for you. 

            1.  Find something, anything to be positive about.

            2.  Let the Law of Inertia take it from there. 

                 As you surround yourself with a more positive vibe,

                 you will attract more positive energy, helping you feel more positive.

            3. If something unexpected happens and changes your feeling,

                repeat step 1. 

I hope you found much to be thankful for as this holiday season began.

I know I did. 

Thank you for allowing me to be your Wingman today.

In Appreciation,

Mike

Michael Yale Seletsky

A wingman succumbed to his physical battle a week ago.  He was a great friend to many.

Strange, for I feel I’ve spoken with him often these past few days. 
I find his words and mannerisms being part of me. 
I notice I’m smiling a bit more as I think of him.

Michael had that effect on you as he stared into your eyes, hearing your every word. 

When I was with Michael, I saw my world as a better place. 
If you had met him, you would know what I mean.

We wouldn’t be done the first course before solutions made problems disappear.

By dessert, and Michael did love a great dessert, we'd be laughing hysterically. 
But always there was a sense of calm.

One late night, many years ago, as evening turned to morning, I met up with Michael.  Not surprisingly, we were soon in his car going to a pancake house. 

As we got out of the car, there in the parking lot, we were ambushed by five drunk and angry guys. 

As I felt the fear rising within me, I’ll never forget his words. 

“Just relax, it will be ok, I’ve got this.  Can you hold my coat?”

I only had to hold it for what seemed like seconds, as Michael dispersed of them powerfully and efficiently.  As I handed him back his coat, I actually felt like I had assisted.  Like holding his coat was an important part of what needed to be done.

That was the essence of Michael; he would always carry the load but make you feel indispensible.  

I will always remember that feeling…

As George Eliot said, “Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them”.

Michael will never be forgotten by those of us who were fortunate to have known him.

We’ll always remember how his physical presence would fill a room and his laughter would fill our hearts with joy.

Michael was a true wingman though, and I believe his spirit was far greater then any physical body could contain.  I know I felt him this morning as I walked through the woods, and feel him now as I write these words. 

I don’t eat pancakes much any more, but I often think back to that night, especially in times of stress.  Now however, it’s his confidence I feel permeating my being.

“Just relax, it will be ok, I’ve got this.” And with him as my wingman, I know I do.  

I know I speak for many when I say...

“Thank you, Michael, thank you for being such a fantastic Wingman”. 

It is my honor to present a Wingman of the week award to Michael Yale Seletsky. 

In Appreciation,

Mike