“May I clean your windshield”?

This past Friday, I stopped to fill my car up with gasoline and had the opportunity to be served by a young man who clearly makes it a practice of “Going the Extra Mile”.

Not only did he do his job of filling my gas tank, but he did it promptly, with courtesy and a smile. In today’s society, that in and of itself, would be considered going the extra mile. When he asked if he could clean my windshield, I was so surprised, I did not answer him immediately. When I finally said yes, he did so with a cheerfulness that had my wife and I discussing long after we got on the road.

It got me thinking of how often in my life I haven’t gone the extra mile, and how I felt those times I did. Talk about us all being connected. Not only did the person I was serving feel they were being well taken care of, but equally as important was how I felt about myself at those times. I never felt taken advantage of, quite the contrary, I always felt pleased with myself, satisfied and full of pride.

Interestingly, on Saturday, having returned home from an all day conference, I naturally asked my wife about her day. “I had a really great day” she smiled. “You know how we discussed going the extra mile? I got to do it today”. She was beaming and I couldn’t wait to hear more. She described being at the drive up window at the bank when an elderly man pulled into the parking lot, got out of his car and proceeded to ask people how to get to a particular address in our town. No one, including my wife knew where it was. “He looked so forlorn” my wife said, “and I realized I have a GPS and could look it up. As I started telling him how to get there I could tell he was confused. So I offered to drive there and he could follow me”. My wife’s grin was now spreading wide across her face. “He was so appreciative. It made me feel so great.”

And so, by driving a couple miles out of her way, my wife turned an ordinary Saturday into an exceptional feeling. It is an attitude worth developing.

Napoleon Hill said it best with his Extra Mile Formula.

“Render more and better service than you are paid for, and sooner or later you will receive compound interest from your investment. It is inevitable that every seed of useful service you sow will sprout and reward you with an abundant harvest.

Going the extra mile is not the sort of principle that can be put into practice in a few easy steps. Instead it is a state of mind that you must develop, so that it is a part of everything you do. There is a subtle, but powerful, mental attitude connected with it. Remember, your best recommendation is the one you give yourself by rendering superior service in the right mental attitude.

My new practice is easily defined. At least once each day I am going to look for an opportunity to be of service to someone, to do so with a smile on my face and in my heart. I can’t imagine a better technique on my path to being my own wingman.

Therefore, I’m honored to offer my wingman of the week award to Jimmy, the gas station attendant who reminded me of a forgotten, but surefire method for staying upbeat, and keeping a positive and confident outlook as we go about our day.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,
Michael

A Buddhist Monk

So the other day my wife and I were doing some cleaning up in our garden, removing some bushes and cutting down some small trees. I actually like working in the garden, although you might not have known it from the amount of complaining I was doing.
Especially when I had to cut the wood and carry it to the front of the house.
It was at that moment my wife calmly reminded me (laughingly I may add) of the Zen proverb,

"Before enlightenment, chop wood carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood carry water".

I'm not sure how far along the path of enlightenment I am, but I do know, once again, my wife knew how to get me back on track. And so, it came to be, after a long afternoon of work, there along the curb sat the fruits of our labor, piles of not so neatly stacked wood, tree branches, weeds and bushes. I must say I was feeling pretty good about a job well done.

A couple hours and a shower later we were heading out for an evening with friends. Imagine my surprise, at the exact moment we were leaving, a van pulled up to the front of our house and out stepped two Buddhist monks. Just to remind you, we live in Haddonfield, NJ, not Burma or Nepal.

Was this a sign? Was the universe showing me a new path?
I certainly took it as one.

As they silently asked if it was ok for them to take the wood, I (not so silently) asked if I may call upon them to learn more of their practices.
Brother Michio granted my request and gave me his phone number.
I called, and yesterday went to his home and enjoyed 3 hours speaking dharma and truth, religion and spirituality, of the natural laws of the universe and of how we each create our own life. We sat legs folded (ok, I admit, he sat legs folded, I was unable to after 10 minutes) and talked about having desires and being desireless, of things that are good and of things that are bad. He showed me his garden, from which he eats most of his meals, and explained much about how our egos can so often control us. The more we spoke, the more I realized how much further I have on my path to enlightenment. He seemed to enjoy my one minute practices and my Be Your Own Wingman philosophy. Each time I asked how, or what I could do to further my understanding, he would smile and say, “one minute at a time”.

And so, once again my path was affirmed. For my one minute practices that I’ve been sharing with you, are, just as Brother Michio said, one minute steps towards more peace, more contentment, more understanding, and in his words, more realization.

Isn’t it amazing what an afternoon of gardening can bring about? (Although please don’t tell my wife).

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,

Michael

I love how everything always works out for me.

I love when I come up with a new practice that sticks.
The other day, I saw the movie, “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” and there’s a scene where Dev Patel says,
“Here we have a saying, everything will be all right in the end, so if it is not all right, it is not the end”.

It got me thinking, which led me to my new, one minute practice.

“I love when everything works out for me.”
I started saying that on Monday and it felt great. So I continued each morning this week.

Take one minute and say to yourself,
“Everything always seems to work out for me.”

I recorded myself this morning and this is what I said.

“It’s so cool how everything always works out for me.
Oh Wow! This will be so interesting to see how this (situation) will work out for me.
It doesn’t seem possible but I know this will work out for me because everything always works out for me.
I am so lucky that everything always works out for me.
I don’t know how this will work out for me, but I know it will, and I can’t wait to find out how. It will really be interesting.
What an interesting and fascinating day this will be, I am so excited for it.
It is so awesome how everything always works out for me.

What a great feeling it is to know this will work out.
How do I know? Because everything always works out for me!
There have been so many times that things did not seem to be going my way, but yet they always work out.
It’s been so cool to see how the universe unfolds, and to see how things end up working out for me.

It is so exciting to look back and see how things ended up working out so well.
I’m having so much fun.
And to think I used to worry whether things would work out.
It’s so funny to look back and see how they worked out, for they always do.

OMG, I can’t believe how everything worked out.
I’m so fortunate that everything always works out for me.
It’s really interesting when things seem to not be working out and how it challenges me.
When I think about how things always work out for me I feel GREAT!
So often, I’m in a situation where it doesn’t seem possible that it could work out to my liking, yet it always does. I’m really lucky in that respect.
Things do seem to always work out for me.

Sometimes it seems so impossible, that my logical mind can’t even imagine.
Those are the times I just sit back and let the universe work it out for me. It always does.
When I just relax and let the universe handle it, things always work out for me.

What an amazing feeling.

I love practicing this feeling, and I love when I can let the How’s and the Why’s go and just allow things to work out.
It is so amazing and so much fun, when I can just let it go. When those “issues” work out, those are the times I really enjoy and appreciate life.
I don’t know how it always happens, but everything always works out for me.”

Please try it, and hopefully it will work as well for you.

Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,

Michael

My New Favorite Practice

Back in February I wrote about being introduced to the practice of saying thank you. I’m happy to say this practice has become one of my favorites, meaning I practice it often.

I have found the more I say thank you, the more I find to say thank you about. Try it, it’s easy, I put the timer on my phone for one minute (sometimes more) and start saying thank you as if I’m standing at the Academy awards, just saying thank you to a mass of strangers without any real reason.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you so much, thank you. “

I then start thinking of reasons I have to be thankful.

Thank you for reading this.

Thank you for helping me create a synergy amongst all of us.

Thank you for helping me help people bring positive energy into their lives.

Thank you for helping me to practice what I preach.

Thank you for helping me help myself. I appreciate it greatly.

Thank you for finding love in all the right places.

Thank you for the air that I breathe.

Thank you for the walk through the woods I take every morning.

Thank you for the clothes that I wear.

Thank you for the sun that shines down on me.

Thank you for the rain that helps nurture my world.

Thank you for the car that I drive.

Thank you for my job.

Thank you for the opportunity to earn money.

Thank you for my being me.

Give yourself a hug and thank yourself for who you are and where you are right now.

Thank you for this exciting adventure I’m on.

Thank you for reminding me of the divine being I am.

Thank you for helping me remember I’m in charge of my life.

Thank you for my ability to reason and understand.

Thank you for the brain in my head.

Thank you for the energy that is all around me.

Thank you for helping me attract positive energy.

Thank you for my thought process that I now know I can change in 60 seconds by consciously practicing finding the positive.

Thank you for the mystery that is me.

Thank you for my family.

Thank you for my friends.

Thank you for my understanding that I can create anything I want, just by thinking of it.

Thank you for allowing me to be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,

Michael

The Reality of the Situation

“You’re not seeing the reality of the situation”, I was told the other day as I was intentionally focusing on finding the positives.
“But it’s not real.” As if I didn’t hear him the first time…

Whether on radio, or at workshops or meetings, I have been very vocal about my practice of consciously focusing on seeing positives.  I find the more I practice, the more “unconsciously efficient” I become at seeing positives.
The power of small simple practices can not be over estimated and I’m surprised at how easy and natural it has become.

I’m also well aware of how much more practice is needed.
And so I continue.

One such practice on which I’m currently working, is on shifting my perception.
I have found so much of my “reality”, is totally based on my perception of my reality.
And I’ve learned how my “perception” can so often be easily shifted.
One example is when I did a 10 day fruit and vegetable fast. My perception of eating changed drastically to where I no longer cared about food, only nutrition.
In only 10 days.

Have you ever had a situation where you were 100% certain, and, in the next moment, your “reality” was the exact opposite. Understanding that my perception can so easily shift, I decided it would be wise to consciously practice choosing the direction I want to move my perception.

A trusted wingman recently sent me an article from NPR news about a study discussing, for lack of a better term, the power of positive perception.

Jessica Witt, a psychologist at Purdue University who researches how perception and performance are related, decided to look at the game of golf. She found how the appearance of the hole changes depending on whether you are playing well or poorly and decided to see if one could improve their golf score, simply by altering their perception.

In her lab, she made an artificial putting green and used an optical illusion to make the hole appear larger or smaller than it really was. This optical trick (see below) is called the Ebbinghaus illusion and you can see how it appears to change the size of the center hole. She found when people perceived the hole to be larger, they were more successful at making their putts.

This study fascinates me. If shifting one’s perception is all that is needed to improve one’s golf score, then doesn’t it follow that by varying my perception, I too can achieve better results in my professional and/or personal life? I believe it clearly demonstrates that my outcome can be improved by changing my perception.

Have a sales call today?
See your prospect as wanting to do business with you.
Have a mountain of paperwork to get through?
Try perceiving it as a smaller pile.
Meeting with your boss, or your employee?
Look at it through their eyes for one minute.

Whatever your challenge, try altering your perception, even for just one minute.
You too, will be amazed at the results, and how easy it is for your momentum to swing, your confidence to increase, and your “reality” to improve.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation
Michael

"No S#*t Sherlock"...

I would like to thank those of you who replied to my last blog/email entitled,
"When I enjoy playing, I play better".

The above comment, “No S#*t Sherlock” was from a loved one and family member, and demonstrates how simple this really is.
Here is my answer.

My Dear Mr. Watson,

You are so correct.
Amazing, isn't it? How simple life really is?
And how, intellectually speaking, we all know it so well.

That's what makes it so puzzling.
How we all know it, yet, very few of us actually live it.
How we can all speak it, but we don't act it.
How, instead of being thankful for what we have, we focus on what we don't.
How simple it really is, and how difficult we make it.

I am thrilled by your "No S#*t Sherlock" comment
and the fact that you grasp this so easily.
Again, most people recognize and agree with the logic of it.

The difficulty seems to be the consistency, which I know I have struggled with. That is why I have developed so many different practices and make sure to do at least one each day.
For while I enjoy discussing it academically, I have found I'm at my best when I actually practice living it.

Therefore...

I now consciously practice looking for positives in whatever situation I'm in.
I now consciously practice thinking better feeling thoughts.
I now consciously practice seeing myself as I want to be seen.
I now consciously practice saying thank you for what I have and for the lessons I have learned.

I hope these practices help you as much as they've helped me.
Thanks for letting me be your wingman today.

In Appreciation,
Michael

When I enjoy playing, I play better.

When I enjoy playing, I play better.
When I enjoy working, I work better.
When I enjoy exercising, I exercise better.
When I enjoy learning, I learn better.

Do you find this to be true?
When you enjoy what you’re doing, do you find you do it better?
I know I do.

When I enjoy selling, I sell better.
When I enjoy teaching, I teach better.
When I enjoy writing, I write better.

The question I ask myself then, is how?  How does one “enjoy” the doing, when there are goals to be achieved, sales quotas to be met and deadlines to be adhered to.

What works for me are my practices that help keep me in a positive frame of mind.
One such practice is simply named “Finding the Positive” and I actually practice finding something good about the circumstances, something I can be thankful for.
Once I uncover one positive, more seem to follow.
Perhaps these practices will work for you as well.

Btw… When I enjoy practicing, I practice better.

How about those times it seems more difficult to “enjoy” …
For instance, the salesman who is worried and focused about meeting his quota is not “enjoying” selling. How does he change his focus so he now “enjoys” the sales process?

By finding the positive.
By shifting his focus to those parts of the job he really enjoys.
Perhaps it’s his belief in his product or service?
Perhaps it’s the people he works with or the freedom his job affords him?
Perhaps it’s the challenge of helping others?
Or perhaps it’s his paycheck?

Whatever it is, when he enjoys his work, he works better.
How about you?

What do you do?
When you enjoy _________ing, you’ll _________ better.

Thanks for allowing me to be your wingman today.
In Appreciation,
Michael